The Taming of the Shrew

Act V

Scene I Padua. Before LUCENTIO'S house.

[GREMIO discovered. Enter behind BIONDELLO,
BIONDELLO Softly and swiftly, sir; for the priest is ready.
LUCENTIO I fly, Biondello: but they may chance to need thee
at home; therefore leave us.
BIONDELLO Nay, faith, I'll see the church o' your back; and
then come back to my master's as soon as I can.
GREMIO I marvel Cambio comes not all this while.
with Attendants]
PETRUCHIO Sir, here's the door, this is Lucentio's house:
My father's bears more toward the market-place;
Thither must I, and here I leave you, sir.
VINCENTIO You shall not choose but drink before you go:
I think I shall command your welcome here,
And, by all likelihood, some cheer is toward.
GREMIO They're busy within; you were best knock louder.
[Pedant looks out of the window]
Pedant What's he that knocks as he would beat down the gate?
VINCENTIO Is Signior Lucentio within, sir?
Pedant He's within, sir, but not to be spoken withal.
VINCENTIO What if a man bring him a hundred pound or two, to
make merry withal?
Pedant Keep your hundred pounds to yourself: he shall
need none, so long as I live.
PETRUCHIO Nay, I told you your son was well beloved in Padua.
Do you hear, sir? To leave frivolous circumstances,
I pray you, tell Signior Lucentio that his father is
come from Pisa, and is here at the door to speak with him.
Pedant Thou liest: his father is come from Padua and here
looking out at the window.
VINCENTIO Art thou his father?
Pedant Ay, sir; so his mother says, if I may believe her.
PETRUCHIO [To VINCENTIO] Why, how now, gentleman! why, this
is flat knavery, to take upon you another man's name.
Pedant Lay hands on the villain: I believe a' means to
cozen somebody in this city under my countenance.
[Re-enter BIONDELLO]
BIONDELLO I have seen them in the church together: God send
'em good shipping! But who is here? mine old
master Vincentio! now we are undone and brought to nothing.
Come hither, crack-hemp.
BIONDELLO Hope I may choose, sir.
VINCENTIO Come hither, you rogue. What, have you forgot me?
BIONDELLO Forgot you! no, sir: I could not forget you, for I
never saw you before in all my life.
VINCENTIO What, you notorious villain, didst thou never see
thy master's father, Vincentio?
BIONDELLO What, my old worshipful old master? yes, marry, sir:
see where he looks out of the window.
VINCENTIO Is't so, indeed.
BIONDELLO Help, help, help! here's a madman will murder me.
Pedant Help, son! help, Signior Baptista!
[Exit from above]
PETRUCHIO Prithee, Kate, let's stand aside and see the end of
this controversy.
[They retire]
[Re-enter Pedant below; TRANIO, BAPTISTA, and Servants]
TRANIO Sir, what are you that offer to beat my servant?
VINCENTIO What am I, sir! nay, what are you, sir? O immortal
gods! O fine villain! A silken doublet! a velvet
hose! a scarlet cloak! and a copatain hat! O, I
am undone! I am undone! while I play the good
husband at home, my son and my servant spend all at
the university.
TRANIO How now! what's the matter?
BAPTISTA What, is the man lunatic?
TRANIO Sir, you seem a sober ancient gentleman by your
habit, but your words show you a madman. Why, sir,
what 'cerns it you if I wear pearl and gold? I
thank my good father, I am able to maintain it.
VINCENTIO Thy father! O villain! he is a sailmaker in Bergamo.
BAPTISTA You mistake, sir, you mistake, sir. Pray, what do
you think is his name?
VINCENTIO His name! as if I knew not his name: I have brought
him up ever since he was three years old, and his
name is Tranio.
Pedant Away, away, mad ass! his name is Lucentio and he is
mine only son, and heir to the lands of me, Signior Vincentio.
VINCENTIO Lucentio! O, he hath murdered his master! Lay hold
on him, I charge you, in the duke's name. O, my
son, my son! Tell me, thou villain, where is my son Lucentio?
TRANIO Call forth an officer.
[Enter one with an Officer]
Carry this mad knave to the gaol. Father Baptista,
I charge you see that he be forthcoming.
VINCENTIO Carry me to the gaol!
GREMIO Stay, officer: he shall not go to prison.
BAPTISTA Talk not, Signior Gremio: I say he shall go to prison.
GREMIO Take heed, Signior Baptista, lest you be
cony-catched in this business: I dare swear this
is the right Vincentio.
Pedant Swear, if thou darest.
GREMIO Nay, I dare not swear it.
TRANIO Then thou wert best say that I am not Lucentio.
GREMIO Yes, I know thee to be Signior Lucentio.
BAPTISTA Away with the dotard! to the gaol with him!
VINCENTIO Thus strangers may be hailed and abused: O
monstrous villain!
BIONDELLO O! we are spoiled and--yonder he is: deny him,
forswear him, or else we are all undone.
LUCENTIO [Kneeling] Pardon, sweet father.
VINCENTIO Lives my sweet son?
[Exeunt BIONDELLO, TRANIO, and Pedant, as fast
as may be]
BIANCA Pardon, dear father.
BAPTISTA How hast thou offended?
Where is Lucentio?
LUCENTIO Here's Lucentio,
Right son to the right Vincentio;
That have by marriage made thy daughter mine,
While counterfeit supposes bleared thine eyne.
GREMIO Here's packing, with a witness to deceive us all!
VINCENTIO Where is that damned villain Tranio,
That faced and braved me in this matter so?
BAPTISTA Why, tell me, is not this my Cambio?
BIANCA Cambio is changed into Lucentio.
LUCENTIO Love wrought these miracles. Bianca's love
Made me exchange my state with Tranio,
While he did bear my countenance in the town;
And happily I have arrived at the last
Unto the wished haven of my bliss.
What Tranio did, myself enforced him to;
Then pardon him, sweet father, for my sake.
VINCENTIO I'll slit the villain's nose, that would have sent
me to the gaol.
BAPTISTA But do you hear, sir? have you married my daughter
without asking my good will?
VINCENTIO Fear not, Baptista; we will content you, go to: but
I will in, to be revenged for this villany.
BAPTISTA And I, to sound the depth of this knavery.
LUCENTIO Look not pale, Bianca; thy father will not frown.
GREMIO My cake is dough; but I'll in among the rest,
Out of hope of all, but my share of the feast.
KATHARINA Husband, let's follow, to see the end of this ado.
PETRUCHIO First kiss me, Kate, and we will.
KATHARINA What, in the midst of the street?
PETRUCHIO What, art thou ashamed of me?
KATHARINA No, sir, God forbid; but ashamed to kiss.
PETRUCHIO Why, then let's home again. Come, sirrah, let's away.
KATHARINA Nay, I will give thee a kiss: now pray thee, love, stay.
PETRUCHIO Is not this well? Come, my sweet Kate:
Better once than never, for never too late.

Scene II Padua. LUCENTIO'S house.

and Widow, TRANIO, BIONDELLO, and GRUMIO the
Serving-men with Tranio bringing in a banquet]
LUCENTIO At last, though long, our jarring notes agree:
And time it is, when raging war is done,
To smile at scapes and perils overblown.
My fair Bianca, bid my father welcome,
While I with self-same kindness welcome thine.
Brother Petruchio, sister Katharina,
And thou, Hortensio, with thy loving widow,
Feast with the best, and welcome to my house:
My banquet is to close our stomachs up,
After our great good cheer. Pray you, sit down;
For now we sit to chat as well as eat.
PETRUCHIO Nothing but sit and sit, and eat and eat!
BAPTISTA Padua affords this kindness, son Petruchio.
PETRUCHIO Padua affords nothing but what is kind.
HORTENSIO For both our sakes, I would that word were true.
PETRUCHIO Now, for my life, Hortensio fears his widow.
Widow Then never trust me, if I be afeard.
PETRUCHIO You are very sensible, and yet you miss my sense:
I mean, Hortensio is afeard of you.
Widow He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.
PETRUCHIO Roundly replied.
KATHARINA Mistress, how mean you that?
Widow Thus I conceive by him.
PETRUCHIO Conceives by me! How likes Hortensio that?
HORTENSIO My widow says, thus she conceives her tale.
PETRUCHIO Very well mended. Kiss him for that, good widow.
KATHARINA 'He that is giddy thinks the world turns round:'
I pray you, tell me what you meant by that.
Widow Your husband, being troubled with a shrew,
Measures my husband's sorrow by his woe:
And now you know my meaning,
KATHARINA A very mean meaning.
Widow Right, I mean you.
KATHARINA And I am mean indeed, respecting you.
PETRUCHIO To her, Kate!
HORTENSIO To her, widow!
PETRUCHIO A hundred marks, my Kate does put her down.
HORTENSIO That's my office.
PETRUCHIO Spoke like an officer; ha' to thee, lad!
[Drinks to HORTENSIO]
BAPTISTA How likes Gremio these quick-witted folks?
GREMIO Believe me, sir, they butt together well.
BIANCA Head, and butt! an hasty-witted body
Would say your head and butt were head and horn.
VINCENTIO Ay, mistress bride, hath that awaken'd you?
BIANCA Ay, but not frighted me; therefore I'll sleep again.
PETRUCHIO Nay, that you shall not: since you have begun,
Have at you for a bitter jest or two!
BIANCA Am I your bird? I mean to shift my bush;
And then pursue me as you draw your bow.
You are welcome all.
[Exeunt BIANCA, KATHARINA, and Widow]
PETRUCHIO She hath prevented me. Here, Signior Tranio.
This bird you aim'd at, though you hit her not;
Therefore a health to all that shot and miss'd.
TRANIO O, sir, Lucentio slipp'd me like his greyhound,
Which runs himself and catches for his master.
PETRUCHIO A good swift simile, but something currish.
TRANIO 'Tis well, sir, that you hunted for yourself:
'Tis thought your deer does hold you at a bay.
BAPTISTA O ho, Petruchio! Tranio hits you now.
LUCENTIO I thank thee for that gird, good Tranio.
HORTENSIO Confess, confess, hath he not hit you here?
PETRUCHIO A' has a little gall'd me, I confess;
And, as the jest did glance away from me,
'Tis ten to one it maim'd you two outright.
BAPTISTA Now, in good sadness, son Petruchio,
I think thou hast the veriest shrew of all.
PETRUCHIO Well, I say no: and therefore for assurance
Let's each one send unto his wife;
And he whose wife is most obedient
To come at first when he doth send for her,
Shall win the wager which we will propose.
HORTENSIO Content. What is the wager?
LUCENTIO Twenty crowns.
PETRUCHIO Twenty crowns!
I'll venture so much of my hawk or hound,
But twenty times so much upon my wife.
LUCENTIO A hundred then.
PETRUCHIO A match! 'tis done.
HORTENSIO Who shall begin?
LUCENTIO That will I.
Go, Biondello, bid your mistress come to me.
BAPTISTA Son, I'll be your half, Bianca comes.
LUCENTIO I'll have no halves; I'll bear it all myself.
[Re-enter BIONDELLO]
How now! what news?
BIONDELLO Sir, my mistress sends you word
That she is busy and she cannot come.
PETRUCHIO How! she is busy and she cannot come!
Is that an answer?
GREMIO Ay, and a kind one too:
Pray God, sir, your wife send you not a worse.
PETRUCHIO I hope better.
HORTENSIO Sirrah Biondello, go and entreat my wife
To come to me forthwith.
PETRUCHIO O, ho! entreat her!
Nay, then she must needs come.
HORTENSIO I am afraid, sir,
Do what you can, yours will not be entreated.
[Re-enter BIONDELLO]
Now, where's my wife?
BIONDELLO She says you have some goodly jest in hand:
She will not come: she bids you come to her.
PETRUCHIO Worse and worse; she will not come! O vile,
Intolerable, not to be endured!
Sirrah Grumio, go to your mistress;
Say, I command her to come to me.
HORTENSIO I know her answer.
HORTENSIO She will not.
PETRUCHIO The fouler fortune mine, and there an end.
BAPTISTA Now, by my holidame, here comes Katharina!
[Re-enter KATARINA]
KATHARINA What is your will, sir, that you send for me?
PETRUCHIO Where is your sister, and Hortensio's wife?
KATHARINA They sit conferring by the parlor fire.
PETRUCHIO Go fetch them hither: if they deny to come.
Swinge me them soundly forth unto their husbands:
Away, I say, and bring them hither straight.
LUCENTIO Here is a wonder, if you talk of a wonder.
HORTENSIO And so it is: I wonder what it bodes.
PETRUCHIO Marry, peace it bodes, and love and quiet life,
And awful rule and right supremacy;
And, to be short, what not, that's sweet and happy?
BAPTISTA Now, fair befal thee, good Petruchio!
The wager thou hast won; and I will add
Unto their losses twenty thousand crowns;
Another dowry to another daughter,
For she is changed, as she had never been.
PETRUCHIO Nay, I will win my wager better yet
And show more sign of her obedience,
Her new-built virtue and obedience.
See where she comes and brings your froward wives
As prisoners to her womanly persuasion.
[Re-enter KATHARINA, with BIANCA and Widow]
Katharina, that cap of yours becomes you not:
Off with that bauble, throw it under-foot.
Widow Lord, let me never have a cause to sigh,
Till I be brought to such a silly pass!
BIANCA Fie! what a foolish duty call you this?
LUCENTIO I would your duty were as foolish too:
The wisdom of your duty, fair Bianca,
Hath cost me an hundred crowns since supper-time.
BIANCA The more fool you, for laying on my duty.
PETRUCHIO Katharina, I charge thee, tell these headstrong women
What duty they do owe their lords and husbands.
Widow Come, come, you're mocking: we will have no telling.
PETRUCHIO Come on, I say; and first begin with her.
Widow She shall not.
PETRUCHIO I say she shall: and first begin with her.
KATHARINA Fie, fie! unknit that threatening unkind brow,
And dart not scornful glances from those eyes,
To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor:
It blots thy beauty as frosts do bite the meads,
Confounds thy fame as whirlwinds shake fair buds,
And in no sense is meet or amiable.
A woman moved is like a fountain troubled,
Muddy, ill-seeming, thick, bereft of beauty;
And while it is so, none so dry or thirsty
Will deign to sip or touch one drop of it.
Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee,
And for thy maintenance commits his body
To painful labour both by sea and land,
To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe;
And craves no other tribute at thy hands
But love, fair looks and true obedience;
Too little payment for so great a debt.
Such duty as the subject owes the prince
Even such a woman oweth to her husband;
And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour,
And not obedient to his honest will,
What is she but a foul contending rebel
And graceless traitor to her loving lord?
I am ashamed that women are so simple
To offer war where they should kneel for peace;
Or seek for rule, supremacy and sway,
When they are bound to serve, love and obey.
Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth,
Unapt to toil and trouble in the world,
But that our soft conditions and our hearts
Should well agree with our external parts?
Come, come, you froward and unable worms!
My mind hath been as big as one of yours,
My heart as great, my reason haply more,
To bandy word for word and frown for frown;
But now I see our lances are but straws,
Our strength as weak, our weakness past compare,
That seeming to be most which we indeed least are.
Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,
And place your hands below your husband's foot:
In token of which duty, if he please,
My hand is ready; may it do him ease.
PETRUCHIO Why, there's a wench! Come on, and kiss me, Kate.
LUCENTIO Well, go thy ways, old lad; for thou shalt ha't.
VINCENTIO 'Tis a good hearing when children are toward.
LUCENTIO But a harsh hearing when women are froward.
PETRUCHIO Come, Kate, we'll to bed.
We three are married, but you two are sped.
'Twas I won the wager, though you hit the white;
And, being a winner, God give you good night!
HORTENSIO Now, go thy ways; thou hast tamed a curst shrew.
LUCENTIO 'Tis a wonder, by your leave, she will be tamed so.

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